Sick, it's the New Coke

Yeah, I'm sick...so is *M*, so is baby *S* and for all I know so is our poor cat *N* except he's smart enough to steer clear of the plague-bringers and I've barely seen him in a week.

When you're contemplating what sweet release death could bring you from a virus that is kicking your collective asses around the block while laughing gleefully to itself, you realize that you can draw bizarre parallels to being ill and the ill-fated New Coke marketing campaign of the '80s.

Ok, so the fact that I actually remember the New Coke debacle dates me horribly...but bear with for a sec. We were all happy with regular "aka Original or Classic" Coke but didn't realize how OK we were with it until the horrible executives of Coca-Cola decided to take it away and replace it with NEW Coke which, like almost everything designed to be consumed or worn in the 80s, was awful. And then ohhhhhh how we missed Classic Coke....how we wished we could have just one more to remind us of the good old days before we got complacent about our soda (or Pop for you Yanks) drinking ways. Eventually, after we had suffered an appropriately long time, same evil executives decided to bring back our "Classic" Coke and even threw it a parade (of sorts) via a marketing blitz that would humble a politician on election day heralding its return to our store shelves. We all should have boycotted Coke - after all, there is something extremely insulting about being made to beg to convince a company to simply keep selling you the same item they had been selling for decades previously. Folly, or marketing genius - I'll leave you to decide.

Now if you replace Classic Coke with "my pre-existing wonderfully good health" and New Coke with "sorry you've got a VIRUS, no antibiotics for YOU Missy!" you're pretty much living my week. Longing for the great health I failed to appreciate until it was snatched from me...and now I wait, with ticker tape in hand, for the parade I plan to throw my immune system (previously quite unrecognized) just as soon as this virus heads the way of New Coke....

Worry when D.C. figures something out before your state...

This week the District of Columbia finally joined the unfortunately limited ranks of enlightened city/states by legalizing same sex marriage. Having lived in the greater D.C. area for the majority of my life I'm here to tell you that D.C. is the single most dysfunctional city in the country, and quite possibly in the universe. But they got this right, and almost every single city and state in our great nation should be ashamed that the ground zero of political infighting managed to accomplish this before they did.

Seriously...how in this day and age we can still be blatantly discriminating against a group of people AND pretend it's OK is completely beyond me.

Crying can't get me down!

Not my crying...*S*'s....but she cries infrequently enough that I can't begrudge her. But it's so much nicer when she doesn't.

Meanwhile the sun is shining again (finally) and spring is in the air...or possibly *S* just poo'd her diap...manure and baby poo being one element apart on the periodic table, and what's spring without the air full of well manicured and manured lawns?

You Can't Spell Sleep Without *S*

And thankfully she agrees! Even though I haven't been updating here as I should, I am sleeping! *S* turned a very important corner (one that I would put a plaque on and commence worshipping daily) in the sleep department right around 9 weeks...first we started getting 5 hours uninterrupted sleep, and within a couple of weeks our fab baby was sleeping 8 hours routinely!

So first stage of Baby Boot Camp has been successfully completed...

A post a month to keep the doctor away...

It's officially depressing when I'm corresponding more frequently by snail mail than actually updating my blog...blame the holidays and the need to send both greeting cards and birth announcements (which I smartly combined into a single card)....yes, baby *S* is safely here and in fact celebrating her 4 week birthday tonight!

I should do a heartfelt post about what her birth and the past month have meant to me and my husband, but as any sleep deprived new parent can tell you - the only thing that motivates me are the few minutes I get to burrow my head into a pillow and pretend that my eyes will be closed long enough to get some actual REM sleep. I promise better attempts at meaningful posts dripping with new parental wisdom in the near future.....right after I....Zzzzzzzzz

Inductions and other baby stubbornness

Why can't babies do as they ought? My baby should have grown a little more slowly, and ideally have figured out that the exit is south and ready (more or less) to accept those wishing to meet their destiny in this big, bad wonderful world.

Alas, *S* decided that she's much rather stay in comfy isolation and pack on the pounds faster than one would think is possible without direct access to Twinkies (and no, I have not been eating Twinkies...brownies, perhaps)...all of which has led to a decision to induce her tomorrow night. There's something distinctly unnatural about having to have "cervical ripening gel" inserted in you and then get jacked up on Pitocin through an IV....Not quite the labor starting experience I envisioned and I feel positive some horror movie probably started exactly this way once...

The timing is also less than ideal, as unless the hospital sweeps me out of door in 24 hours I'll probably be celebrating Thanksgiving with the hospital staff...*M* has promised to buy turkey for everyone if we are stuck there which I told him was precisely the wrong incentive structure if we actually do want to get out on Thursday. But regardless, we will have much to be thankful for...especially if I don't end up with a c-section!

Things NOT to say to pregnant women

I've been neglecting the blog...although I think being FULL TERM qualifies as a valid excuse for whatever laziness I engage in, however you can be the judge.

I realized my last post was about the sweet lady in the elevator who made my day....3 weeks later, a totally different experience. As I walked/waddled into my 37wk OB appointment I am stopped by a lady in the parking lot who said (direct quote) "OH HONEY, please tell me you're about to deliver!!!"

Yep, I'm huge (apparently)...and I'm consoling myself that my hugeness is inspiring random people to have concern for their fellow man (or at least pregnant woman).